To touch and hold, out, he briefly reaches,
He touches softly the ear with his hand,
The defense of the creature he breaches,
From warm ears to snout, his kind touches
spanned.
Slowly time passes, ensuring their trust,
Relinquishing power, unable to see,
Peacefully, the deer sighs into the dust,
Defenseless, with not a desire to flee,
The small dagger, the man carefully draws,
To the neck of the small fawn he places,
Yet more demise, the instrument will cause,
The pulse of the creature’s neck he traces.
From the fawn’s limp neck, the red slowly
drips.
And through the creature’s nose, the last
breath slips.
Interesting Amy! Nice job with the meter and rhyme first of all. The tone is the most interesting part of this to me-- even though the first and second quatrain show this fawn being caressed and seemingly taken care of, and then the third and couplet show the fawn being killed, the tone remains objective and calm throughout. The man isn't condemned as cruel by the narrator-- he "carefully" draws the dagger, and "places" it on the deer's neck, which show him to be not violent, but methodical. It's so sad to see the fawn naively surrender to its fate, but it's sad in the way that watching an animal die on a nature show is sad, where we also acknowledge it's necessary. Is the title supposed to be "The Hunt" or "The Hun," like Atilla the Hun? If it's the latter, I guess that would imply the hunter is more violent after all. Anyway-- really interesting!
ReplyDelete15/15
I loved it! I especially liked how you used the senses of imagery to make the sonnet flow. I also enjoyed how you structured each one of the sentences so that they read differently than just saying it straightforward. Your word choice is excellent and full of imagery. I also like how you made the hunter seem almost innocent because he "places" the dagger. Nice Job!
ReplyDeleteHaha, my deer friend Amy. This is a beautiful little Sonnet. The meaning behind it is deep and tragic, I know. The attempt to make the kill sweet and loving, is tainted by the fact that it is still a death. The relationship between the two becomes destroyed as Thehun kills the beloved deer.
ReplyDeleteThe rhyme and everything works perfect. Great job :)